You're not Falling Behind, You're Just Being Gaslit by the Internet.

Your algorithm knows you're insecure.

For years, I've seen videos titled something along the lines of "You're not behind (yet)," "If you don't learn these skills in 2026, you're screwed," and "Why you're not inspired to act." In all honesty, I'm quite guilty of falling for it, and clicking on the video to learn the "next best new skill!" It's easy to fall behind or feel like you're not doing enough when social media surrounds you with extreme examples of success constantly.

At first, these videos seem encouraging.. they seem to promise to teach you tangible skills, and get to the root of what is wrong with your life; however, this is just an illusion to feed capitalism.

Capitalism's Favorite Emotion: Not Enough

It's important to note that these creators aren't malicious, but operating in a system where extreme framing performs better. We live in a culture where identity is increasingly fused with output.

If something truly determines your future employability, it probably cannot be mastered in 17 minutes.

Why This Works

Humans are hard‑wired to pay more attention to negative information than neutral or positive information. This is called negativity bias: an evolutionary adaptation that helped ancestors survive by noticing threats early.

Additionally, well... humans are just lazy. We prefer the easy way out. This is cognitive ease: the brain naturally preferring information that is quick to consume, clearly structured, and perceivably achievable (ex: "Learn AI in just 17 minutes!).

Self‑discrepancy theory suggests people experience emotional discomfort when there’s a gap between their actual self and their ideal self: the person they wish to be.

Frames like: “You’re not where you should be”, and “Optimize yourself faster”

highlight this gap. This discrepancy creates internal tension and motivates action, often in the form of clicking the video.

The Research

Extensive research has documented the connection between social media use and self‑esteem struggles. People who frequently engage with highly curated content, images and lives that seem perfect, often experience:

• Poorer self‑esteem

• Increased anxiety

• Unrealistic self‑comparison

A recent academic review notes that social media’s influence extends far beyond simple communication; it has become a driving force in shaping self‑identity, often detrimentally.

And paradoxically, the more you consume “don’t fall behind” content, the more behind you feel.

Because there’s always a new frontier:

Crypto → Web3 → AI → Automation → AI agents → Whatever’s next.

There is no finish line in a growth-at-all-costs culture.

The Irony: You’re Probably Not Behind

The average person is not building five AI startups. Most people are figuring things out slowly. It's not your fault, and it's okay to take things at your own pace. The algorithm often shows us extremes, but not what the process looked like to get there.

Don't allow smart but twisted marketing to dwindle your self-esteem. Remind yourself of how far you've come in the past years and celebrate your own achievements!

Cut yourself more slack. Bye friends :)

Studies:

Barber, Christopher. Self‑Esteem and Social Media. City University of Seattle, 2023. Capstone Project.

Dorčić, T.M., et al. “Effects of Social Media Social Comparisons and Identity.” PMC, 2023, https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10508212/